Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Never give up. Never surrender.

It's been a while since I've posted.  I guess I was waiting for the right time or until I found the right words.  They haven't come to me, so I am just going to babble on.

I found out recently that I am no longer in remission.  Last week I went in for another bone marrow biopsy and a needle biopsy to my neck to confirm my worst fear.  Starting in November I will receive a more toxic chemotherapy to put me into remission once again before undergoing a stem cell transplant.  

When I initially found out I was angry.  Maybe it was the emotional roller coaster my oncologist was taking me on over a period of 2 weeks, "there's no way it can be cancer.  there's a 50% chance it's cancer.  there's no way it's not cancer."  Maybe it was because he said I could be cured, "again".  Either way, out of my anger I found the motivation to look death in the face--again, and started preparing myself for battle.  

That's really all I know for now, I will update when I can.  You can find my original post from when I was diagnosed last year here.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When something bad happens you have three choices.  You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. ~Unknown

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. ~Unknown

But sometimes it is necessary to do that which is too much. 
- Pope John Paul II

If you're going through hell, keep going. 
- Winston Churchill

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