Never give up. Never surrender.

It's been a while since I've posted.  I guess I was waiting for the right time or until I found the right words.  They haven't come to me, so I am just going to babble on.

I found out recently that I am no longer in remission.  Last week I went in for another bone marrow biopsy and a needle biopsy to my neck to confirm my worst fear.  Starting in November I will receive a more toxic chemotherapy to put me into remission once again before undergoing a stem cell transplant.  

When I initially found out I was angry.  Maybe it was the emotional roller coaster my oncologist was taking me on over a period of 2 weeks, "there's no way it can be cancer.  there's a 50% chance it's cancer.  there's no way it's not cancer."  Maybe it was because he said I could be cured, "again".  Either way, out of my anger I found the motivation to look death in the face--again, and started preparing myself for battle.  

That's really all I know for now, I will update when I can.  You can find my original post from when I was diagnosed last year here.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When something bad happens you have three choices.  You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. ~Unknown

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. ~Unknown

But sometimes it is necessary to do that which is too much. 

- Pope John Paul II

If you're going through hell, keep going. 

- Winston Churchill

Quotes

Today has not been a good day.  A lot of my energy has been spent playing games with the insurance company.  I'm a word nerd, so here are some quotes that help me move forward when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart.  ~Nikolai Lenin


Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.  ~Author Unknown


Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  ~Winston Churchill


As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.  ~Emmanuel


Some days there won't be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.  ~Emory Austin


The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.  ~C.C. Scott


Never, never, never give up.  ~Winston Churchill


You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt


If you're going through hell, keep going.  ~Winston Churchill


The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.  ~Mignon McLaughlin


When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt


A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. ~Unknown


When something bad happens you have three choices.  You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. ~Unknown